30 Shards
by hana-ginkawa
Summary: This is a series of short stories, drabbles and so on and so forth that were written for the LiveJournal community 30shards. They are all apart of a single story for the most part that I will put together in the future. It is KagomeSesshoumaru centric,
1. How The Mighty Have Fallen

Shard # 1 Legends

**Title:** How The Mighty Have Fallen

**Pairing:** Sesshoumaru/Kagome

**Rating:** PG13 – R ( I'm not sure what incurs the wrath of R rating these days.)

**Squicks:** None unless you aren't a Sess/Kag-shipper

**Summary:** This is part of a whole fanfic that I intend on completing sometime in the future. At this point of the story, Sesshoumaru has survived the 500 years since the last time he saw Kagome. He is the owner of a corporation (that I don't know of quite yet) and she is finally attending college, although whether she'll major in history or in medicine is in question. Kagome spent a total of two years in the Sengoku Jidai, with the last year being when Sesshoumaru joined with the shard hunters. It was a year and a half before he finally showed up at the well house. Now, five months later, they are together, although with some problems that come up. But, what relationship is ever utopia?

* * *

"Have you ever thought of reading your own history?"

His narrowed golden eyes flicked from the newspaper he was reading to the woman sitting on the opposite side of the table before returning his attention back to the news.

"No. I find that most often their information is skewed and have no basis of truth to them at all."

"Hmm."

She could feel his eyes return to her. She could also tell that if they could and if he wanted to, they would probably burn a hole right through her. It was amusing that a youkai who often only spoke in monosyllabic sounds would find that same habit annoying when she did it. Which was why she chose to do it.

" 'Hmm' what?"

This time she only glanced up at him and shook her head before returning her gaze to the book in front of her, "Oh, nothing."

Time stretched out torturously as she waited for his next reaction. She could practically feel the irritation flowing off of him. In the 500 years between the time she had left him and he had found her again, the once Lord of the Western Lands had relaxed a bit in his display of emotions, particularly around her. He also could be quite the chatterbox when the mood hit him. She found it incredibly adorable. A thought that would probably cause him to wrinkle his nose as if smelling three-day-old laundry from her workouts, another thing which she found amusing and attractive.

The wrinkled nose however, not the laundry.

She kept her eyes studiously on the text in front of her and pretended not to notice that he was staring at her with impatience. When he finally spoke, she had to keep a hold on herself to not giggle.

"It is not nothing." She looked up and almost lost her composure when he rolled his golden eyes at her. "What is it that caused you to bring that up?"

"Oh, just something that I'm reading for class. . ."

He disliked it when she was being obtuse. "And what are you reading?"

He was starting to sound annoyed now. She could feel the excitement fill her chest as she anticipated his reaction.

"The Legend of the Miko and the Demon Lord Inuyasha."

If Sesshoumaru was the type of person to turn red when he got angry, she was sure he would be close to fire engine in color. She winced involuntarily when he raised his voice.

"WHAT!"

Inside she snickered at this expected reaction. She watched as he calmed himself down.

"Bring that here."

She complied, her insides beginning to tingle at his extremely annoyed tone of voice. There was a part of her that feared these outbursts from the still powerful youkai, but there was another part that thrilled in its danger.

She placed the book down in on top of his now forgotten paper and watched as he read the first few lines.

'_The legend of the miko and the demon Lord Inuyasha began in the late 1400's. It was said to have been a tumultuous affair that ended in the Lord's brother murdering her because of the threat of human taint to their bloodline. . .'_

"I would have killed _him_ if the damn miko hadn't dragged him into HELL. _Demon Lord Inuyasha._"

Honestly he was so adorable when he was annoyed. Particularly because of the other habit he still held from the Sengoku Jidai. When he threatened anyone, his hand would go to his waist, looking as if he was trying to find his swords. He did that now.

Her amusement must have shown for one of his annoyed growls rolled forth from his chest. She blinked up from the text to meet her mischievous gaze with his that were now flashing molten gold.

"You think my reaction is amusing?"

There was warning in that voice, but she knew she could ignore it. If he had wanted her dead, she would have been by now. So, ignoring all caution, she smiled.

"You knew this would occur."

She only smiled wider, "Yep."

His eyes narrowed. Silence followed as he continued to stare up at her. A thought occurred to him that hadn't been revived for years: He could kill her. Actually, the thought had occurred with others, but not with her since they had traveled together. And, again, he couldn't kill her because he knew some little girl years in the past would be disappointed, especially after how happy he had been to find her again. But how to deal with this urge to kill?

The object of his combined annoyance and affection chose to speak again in that moment.

"I seem to remember a time when nothing could rattle you except Inuyasha."

He growled. It dawned on him that she was encouraging this mood. He suddenly found it hard not to grab her.

"All it takes now is a horribly researched history. Hmph. Some legend."

At her exclamation of disappointment in his lack of emotional control, he then began to formulate his attack.

This was the type of skirmish she was used to by now, as he would struggle with his own emotions and in the process, do two things. One, frighten her, or try to, and two, seduce her. With her blessings, of course.

Personally, she was counting on the second part. The last two weeks had been hard to deal with, as he had accosted her on the last full-out bickering session they'd had. That time he had allowed himself to indulge in what she had been trying to offer for a while now, where before, everything would end with just groping and serious lip-lock. Since then, she had tried to help him clue in to the fact that it was something she wanted from him. She had been wanting their relationship to turn into something other than this uncertainty that seemed to hang itself in the caverns of his mind.

It also seemed as if he was punishing himself for the loss of control. Refusing to touch her because he hadn't intended to do it that way in the first place.

HA! She thought. His every move at that time had been used to induce her pleasure.

His first move was to stand up so fast that she gasped and took an involuntary step backwards. He was still growling, but it had changed to the same timbre he had used the last time and it affected her in the way she wanted it to. She welcomed the wave of arousal as it flared up and out from her pelvic area. _Thank you body, for recognizing exactly what I want._

She watched as his nostrils flared and knew that he knew.

His nose picked up on the change in her chemistry and his body responded in kind. He took the next step up to her with solid control, looking down at her through eyes that now were filled with golden desire. He bared his teeth and that threat only served to heighten her arousal as her center began to throb in anticipation.

He took another step towards her and she gave in to the desire to grab a hold of him. Clutching his shirt she tried to pull him the rest of the way towards her. She ended up pulling herself _to_ _him_ instead. Well, to be closer to him was what she wanted, so she refused to give it another thought, concentrating on the feel of her body flush against his.

Her breasts were pressed against his chest and his hot breath flowed down her neck as she stared into his eyes before she claimed his mouth, standing now upon her toes. As she slanted her lips across his and he opened up to accommodate her, she felt his growl intensify through her chest as he responded to her insistent tongue. His hands grasped her ass and he lifted her for better access. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms about his neck and moaned into his mouth. He broke away, "I'll show you how legendary I really am."

She smirked at him before winding a lock of his hair around her hand and pulling his head back to hers. She mumbled against his lips, speaking the last intelligible thing for that evening, "I'm counting on it."


	2. Too Much Thinking

**Shard # 4 - Kiss**

**Title:** Too Much Thinking

**Pairing:** Sesshoumaru/Kagome

**Rating:** R

**Squicks:** Some erotic visuals, gah, I don't know how to explain it. No hard sexual moments, just foreplay.

**Summary:** The title pretty much explains it.

* * *

It seemed incredibly ironic to her that she was in this situation. After all, hadn't she been in love with Inuyasha first? When the battle had ended, Kikyou had called in her claim upon his life. He had descended into the depths of hell with Kagome's previous incarnation, his eyes echoing the regret in his heart. Or maybe it was just regret that he had agreed to this end.

Kagome knew this had been foreseen. It didn't make it any less painful of a memory, as hope that he could or would break his promise to the miko had cemented itself in her heart. That concrete belief had cracked the day that Naraku died. She felt a frown crease the skin between her eyebrows. It had been unforeseeable though that the one to catch her as she fell had been the hanyou's half-brother.

A low growl interrupted her thoughts.

"You are far away right now."

She remembered thinking Sesshoumaru was a narcissistic bastard once. Well, maybe he still is. Okay, not a bastard though.

She gently smiled, "I'm just thinking."

A finely arched eyebrow arched even further into the shadow of his white bangs. Her eyes followed its progress until her attention was grasped by the crescent moon. She smiled, a small amused smirk, and traced its form on his skin. To do this was quite a feat. She was sure that any other human who even attempted this act would probably be dead. There were moments when she was uncertain if she _was_ still alive.

A deadly hand captured her wrist and his lips caressed the palm of her hand. A pleasant shudder flickered up her spine and the skin of her forearms became delightfully goose-pimpled. He balanced on the arm that he had regenerated and she decided then that this was a wonderful thing as his warm breath trailed down her own.

"You think too much."

She shrugged. Or as much as she could with them lying like they were. He was draped across her midsection, his hips beside hers on the bed. The room was dim, lit quietly by the half moon. She could see his pale skin, half-hidden by the covers as it were, illuminated by the silver moon. She loved to watch him move. His skin, as beautiful as it was in repose, was even better to watch as the finely shaped muscle slide underneath when he was in battle.

"I can't help it. It's just the way I am."

He snorted elegantly and dropped his head to place his lips in the valley of her breasts.

He spoke against her skin, the sound vibrating her chest bone, "Maybe this will help."

His lips burned a delicious path up to her collarbone, where he paused to lap at the indent there. She found the sensation warming not only the skin but the area between her legs. The liquid warmth rolled up her belly and loosened her muscles. He was such a considerate lover. The youkai paid exquisite attention to detail. Inuyasha had been a bumbling virgin the few times they had –

The warmth that lapped up her chin stopped her train of thought like a brick building had suddenly appeared in its tracks. The cool brush of air that followed caused her nipples to harden almost painfully so. She met his golden gaze, arrogant, loving, and aroused.

"That's better."

His lips descended to claim her own and enjoying the playful banter of their tongues, she thought it was great not to think.


	3. The Beginning

**_Shard # 10 Weapon_**  
**Title:** The Beginning  
**Pairing:** Sesshoumaru/Kagome  
**Rating:** PG  
**Squicks:** None  
**Summary:** This is where my little series of stories begins. Where Kagome met Sesshoumaru, and this time he didn't try to kill her.

* * *

Ah, the hot springs was probably one of the world's best innovations, natural though they were.

A twinge of shouki was her only warning before Sango stood from the water, her one arm covering her chest, the other flexing in what seemed to be a desire to have hold of her Hiraikoutsu. Or at least her katana.

Kagome swallowed, closing her eyes as she turned her head, opening them upon the still figure of Sesshoumaru. A thrill of fear shot up her spine as her eyes followed the line of his figure, resting briefly on the two swords there at his hip. Tenseiga and Toukijin. If death had been his wish, Kagome figured in this moment, the deadly grip of his killing sword would be graced with the palm of his clawed, marked hand. Her eyes continued northward to his empty sleeve – a twinge of regret there – though not too much as he had been trying to kill them at that time. Finally her gaze rested upon the long silver hair he shared with his brother and the handsome stone face that belied little. His eyes were quiet, void of murderous intent. If he hadn't tried to kill them numerous times before, she could be attracted to him.

The image of her arm in Sesshoumaru's, facing Inuyasha, and saying "_I'm sorry, Inuyasha, but I'm with Sesshoumaru now," _flashed through her mind. She shook her head and turned in the water to face him. "Sango."

The taijiya spared a glance for her friend, before returning her eyes to the youkai lord.

"Please. I do not believe he is here to do us harm." Kagome flicked her gaze from Sessoumaru back to Sango. "Besides, the last few times we have run into him, he hasn't tried to kill us either."

"But still he is a dangerous foe. This could be a trap." The taijiya, undressed as she was, faltered not in her words.

"It is a healthy respect for this Sesshoumaru that causes those words." His noble voice was untinged by malice or hate. "I have merely come to speak with the miko."

Kagome felt a certain confusion until she realized he meant her, not Kikyou. Sango's own puzzled look met hers and they both looked back at the lord.

"_Only_ with the miko."

Sango's features crinkled into a look of anger that directed itself at the youkai. "I will not leave her in your presence to do what you will."

"This Sesshoumaru understands this, however I intend no harm to reach your friend. I merely wish to speak with her."

"My name is Kagome. Let's start with that, eh?" she interspersed into their exchange.

A regal eyebrow raised elegantly at this comment. "Kagome?"

She nodded at him, her eyes bright. "Mmhmm. And this is Sango."

His gaze slid over to touch on the taijiya's unrelenting stance. "Go, as I wish to speak with Kagome in private. I do not intend her harm."

The taijiya waded to shore and picked up her clothing, stopped just to the side of the inuyoukai. "Do her harm, whether you say you do or not, and I will hunt you down."

"I would expect nothing less." Their eyes met and she turned and walked into the woods.

Kagome, watching this exchange, felt a shiver of apprehension. Not of sexual, although that threat did happen to oddly occur to her, but more she was afraid of being alone with him. He was deadly and she had been in this presence before, sheltered by Tessaiga and the sometimes rude, but ultimately protective hanyou attached to its hilt.

She then stood and waded her own way to the shore, stooping to gather her clothes.

"May I at least get dressed before we speak?"

The slight nod of his head was her only indication that she could. She moved off into the trees, unaware that golden eyes traced her steps.

_Not a time to think of how lovely her legs are _Being youkai didn't mean that Sesshoumaru was a eunuch in this instance. Because her legs, and everything else he glimpsed through bored eyes, were quiet enticing. It was a pity that she was human, and if Inuyasha's pissing contests were any indication, she was close to, if not already, his. Mentally he shrugged, listening intently upon the girl's whereabouts, making certain she wouldn't just run to the half-breed runt. Then it would be another while before he could even approach the group again.

She came from behind the closest copse of trees to the spring, straightening her odd clothing, which still gave him a view of those, er, legs. Her hair had been loosened from its knot so that the raven waves fell to her shoulders.

Her eyes were watching him cautiously as she approached, brightly curious.

"Okay, what is it that you wished to talk about?"

He lifted an elegant eyebrow at her. "You are blunt."

"I figure it's better than just staring at you."

"Hmm." Was his answer. "Since we have come to a point where our goals are similar in their end, I have come to request an alliance."

"Alliance?" Kagome felt her own eyebrows lift up of their own accord at the distinct surprise she felt within her.

His golden eyes glared at her repetition of his words. She gave a weak smile and spoke again, "Why talk to me about it? Miroku, or" she cleared her throat, "Inuyasha would be who you should speak with."

"Because they are just the active force behind the one that really leads this endeavor: You."

She looked at him with a strange sort of wonderment in her eyes. He considered her to be the leader? It was almost flattering, considering that he had tried to kill her a couple of times, that now he considered her something that an alliance would bring him as a good thing. "Um, okay. But I have no idea how to deal with this. What is it that you want?"

He looked away into the trees on the opposite side of the springs, "This Sesshoumaru wishes to travel with you and the others for the exchange of having my talents on your side, as opposed to constantly battling against you when we should be fighting with each other."

Kagome had a hint as to the real reason why he sought her out, she chose to push for the answer she was looking for. "Oh. Okay. You have never done so before, so why now?"

The lord's eyes closed for a moment and she could have sworn she saw him swallow. "It is for protection of my charge. The past few events have shown me that the distraction of fighting against our common enemy has allowed for him to gain access to and take that which needs to be protected from me."

The light in her head clicked on with his words. He wanted additional protection for Rin. He was willing to seek help for the little girl. Funny how he had seemed the type of guy, okay, youkai, who took nor sought any help from anyone. This was the reason why he sought her alone. Inuyasha would use this to his advantage, thus increasing the chance that Sesshoumaru might plunge his poison claws into him again. Miroku didn't think so well of the lord either for using the hive against him, and Sango just plain didn't trust him because of who he was. She was the only one who might agree to this. Also with her being the leader in his eye, she could tell the others to trust this agreement.

"But you do not wish for that part to be well-known among the far more, um" she searched for the right words, "impulsive members?"

His head nodded again in affirmation.

"Well, as long as you promise not to hurt anyone of us, and you're willing to help us against Naraku, then I don't see why you can't."

His next words were strained, and when she heard them, she realized he wasn't used to speaking this frankly about this nature of subject. Maybe he wasn't so evil after all.

"Thank you. It will be a weight off my mind if there are more who look out for Rin."

"I'm sure."

"And of Inuyasha's reaction, what is it that you will do?"

She 'hm'ed a moment and replied, "I'll take care of it."

Inuyasha's reaction to Sesshoumaru entering the camp was much like she expected it to be. As much as she felt she loved him, he was incredibly predictable and sometimes she wished for him to grow up and perhaps be a _little_ like his older brother. She rolled her eyes as his shout echoed about them.

"What the hell is that _bastard_ doing here?"

"Since I am not the bastard here, I would refrain from saying it is so and instead, look towards your own form of birth."

"YEARGGGGHHH!" Inuyasha pulled Tessaiga from its sheath and brandished it in front of him. "You will pay for that!"

The youkai lord looked her way as if to say '_see why I sought you out alone?' _and she shrugged in reply, shaking her head.

Sango and Miroku had stood, and poor Shippou was trying to figure out if he should run to Kagome even with the inuyoukai next to her within reaching distance, or to cower behind Miroku. In the end, the call to his surrogate sister's side won out and he bounced two or three times before yelling, "KAGOME!" and landing in her open arms.

"Shippou!"

"When Sango came alone, we were worried, but she told us that you were alright when she left." Crocodile tears appeared in his eyes as he looked into her face.

"She was right. I am fine." She murmured as he buried into her embrace.

Sesshoumaru mulled over this and mentally nodded his head. Yes. This was the place where Rin would be safe.

When everyone ignored Inuyasha, his face became a brighter shade of red. "DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT HE HAS TRIED TO KILL US BEFORE?"

Sesshoumaru looked back at his indignant half-brother, " 'Tried' being the operative word in that question. If I had truly wished your demise at anytime, it would not have been late in coming."

Kagome shook her head again at Inuyasha. "Sesshoumaru had decided to join us in an alliance against Naraku."

"KEH! HE JUST WANTS MY SWORD!"

Since the details as to Sesshoumaru's real reason for joining with them was between Kagome and himself, no one could really blame Inuyasha's obsession with his brother wanting his weapon.

Again Sesshoumaru replied with an insult, "No, you fool. This Sesshoumaru has no need for your pathetic heirloom."

"PATHETIC! WHY YOU BASTARD!" Inuyasha began running towards the stoic youkai whose hand had not reached for the hilt of Tokijin. He merely flicked his eyes to meet Kagome's and by their secret agreement, she nodded.

"Inuyasha! OSUWARI!"

"GAH!"

Sango, Miroku and Shippou noticed with some trepidation and perhaps a bit of shock thrown in at the tiny smile of amusement that graced the lord's features for a moment.

Sesshoumaru reflected for a moment on how wonderful this relationship might become as he met Kagome's gaze, her eyes bright as they always seemed to be with mischieviousness..


	4. Awakening

**Shard #13 Rain**

**Title:** Awakening

**Pairing:** Sesshoumaru/Kagome

**Rating:** PG

**Squicks:** None

**Summary:** It is after the final battle, Kagome has a revelation.

* * *

She could have gone home. Especially after the whole entire two-year fiasco ended the way it did. Yet if she went home, would that mean it was all at an end? As much as the call of returning to a life where demons weren't constantly after her for the jewel that now resided back within her body was appealing, she never felt _at home_ any more. That world had become a stranger to her as much as this one still was. In the end, she had nowhere to go. Except for something that she did not want to think about right now, as it would require her to actually _think_ about the ramifications of her actions. No. She was in a state of middle ground at this point and that is where she wanted to stay for the moment.

She shivered at the cold and tried to draw into herself even more, tucking her arms between her vertically folded legs and her body. The rain was already pounding down around her as she sat somewhat sheltered by Goshinboku. Although a drop or two would splat upon her head once in a while.

She knew that this situation was her own fault, but she didn't want to go inside just yet. Though it was freezing, the rain had a soothing sound to it as it fell onto the leaves and brought life in its elegant simplicity. Funny that she should be caring about something like nature after what she had been through, but she found she could not think of anything else, for it hurt far worse than she wanted to admit. Going inside meant she had to face it. Going inside meant living with it. And honestly, she was perfectly happy here in the rain. Until a voice intruded upon her little sanctuary, threatening to make real a torment already too real to think of.

"Kagome, come here."

It was him. The youkai lord Sesshoumaru. His deep regal voice made her look at him, her thoughts momentarily falling to the ground as she met those golden eyes that were so strange and so painfully familiar. So like the eyes that had stared at her with regret before they had disappeared forever.

"You will get ill. We will return to the house now."

She glared at him before realizing a moment later that his manner was just how he was. He was a feudal lord, unused to being disobeyed. His very word was law and expected it to be obeyed. But she wasn't his vassal and she didn't want to go in yet. Maybe never. Maybe the ground of its own accord would take her as well.

"You can go." She settled her cheek on her knees, facing away from him. "But I'm going to stay here."

"Why?"

She had to give him credit for not pulling the lord stuff with her, or even being angry at her impertinence. But then he hardly seemed to be angry or imperious with anyone these days, the voice he used now gentle and regal, when she remembered that he used to speak with such disdain and arrogance before.

All anger, all cruelty, all hatred had seemed to disappear the day Naraku was destroyed and Inuyasha died – Kagome winced at that thought. Sorrow took its place among the searchers of the Shikon no Tama and for the Lord, a strange sort of peace that was tinged with pity, or maybe just sympathy. As for the rest of the world, it seemed to have taken a deep sigh in relief after that day. Only now did it cry in what seemed a saddened joy.

Well, joy at least. She was perhaps adding her own sadness to the weather. Never the less, it was comforting that the world could cry the tears she somehow could not. So she told the youkai lord this, as he deserved to know, seeing has he had become her protector during and since the battle. Ever since that day her world collapsed about her and he caught her before her knees had hit the ground. Since Inuyasha and Kikyou . . .

"Because it is comforting to have the world cry, when I cannot."

The ever present, ever silent lord did not answer her, but then she really didn't expect him to do anything but keep watch over her as he usually did. Would he watch her when she had disappeared into the ground as well? She felt sure that she could just melt into the soil. Away from the pain . . . into the cool, dark embrace of the earth.

His approach was silent and he felt the girl's surprise at his touch, but he grasped her about the waist and pulled her gently into his lap as he sat at the base of her tree. She had frozen stiff at this change of venue but he ignored her reaction and brought her close to his chest, wrapping his arms about her, his long silken sleeves screening her body from the cold. This strange urge to comfort had begun a while ago, when he had first joined the group. The others had kept him at an arm's length, always watching him. She had trusted him sooner. It seemed that she forgave one's past quicker than the others had. Not that he had anything that needed forgiveness.

He would let her have her desire today, with this one compromise.

"Fine. We will stay."

She felt the rumble of his voice through his chest and a little shiver of her body chased its absence until he spoke again.

"As much as I am sure you would wish to die here, this Sesshoumaru knows that although that one is gone, there are others who would suffer an even worse grief with you gone as well."

Die? Did she truly wish that? _Yes,_ a voice whispered quietly in her mind She had not eaten in days, hadn't felt much of anything but the dulled pain she knew might kill her later. Better to leave it all behind. Better to find solace in death. This had been her unspoken, secret desire she dared not even think to herself.

The thought of the others had not even occurred, or that they might worry with her absence. Sango had Miroku, albeit wounded. Shippou had - no one. Oh. The little kit fox had already lost his surrogate brother, what would he do without her? Inuyasha had been their friend as well as hers. To think she only believed she hurt from this had been . . . selfish, unthinking.

"And this Sesshoumaru does not wish you to go that way as well."

She looked up at his face then, the elegant frozen masculinity that could take one's breath away hiding a fierce interior that bowed down to no one. Ferocious in all matters, even loyalty and friendship, when given such in return. That much she knew, for watching his interactions with Rin and Jaken had betrayed that truth. The coarse, but almost humorous way he treated Jaken when Jaken failed to do what he was supposed to do. The quiet caring hidden in toneless words when he spoke to Rin.

She didn't know what realization it was that broke the dam. Whether it was that Inuyasha was really and truly gone, that he had not been only her friend, and she was not alone in her grief. Or that cold, fierce, unbreakable, untouchable Sesshoumaru cared for her as well. That in the many months they had traveled together, she had given him something that he wanted to give in return.

In the end, it didn't matter. She could now release her grief. It was better to live with it than leave all those who she cared about behind. Grasping in her fists the front of his kimono, sure that this, that _he_, might leave her as well, Kagome cried with the world, comforted now by the arms of a youkai as she held onto him in the waning twilight.


	5. Fallen

Shard # 24 Death

**Title**: Fallen

**Pairing**: Sesshoumaru/Kagome

**Rating**: PG

**Squicks**: None

**Summary**: Yet another moment after the final battle.

* * *

She closed her eyes, hoping that if she couldn't see that everything else would disappear as well. Instead she was endlessly spinning blindly into a vast abyss of despair. The crater of which left her empty, longing, hoping for one more moment.

A moment she would, nor could, ever find. She would always be alone. She could feel it, deep within the recesses of her mind.

It was a truth that she could never escape from. No matter how hard she tried, it was one of those things in life that always was. Denying it would accomplish nothing, for when she quit the endless "No, that's not true" 's running through her head, it would still stare her in the face.

Oh, to close her eyes and slip into nothingness. To slide into the embracing darkness of death, or coma, and to never awake. To never awake and see that her life would always be as it was. That her dreams of "Happily Ever After" would never apply to her. It was as if she wasn't fit for that type of ending. As if she was paying the fines racked up by someone else.

The pain rose again in her chest, engulfing her heart, her lungs, until it twisted them into broken caricatures of their former selves.

She had felt herself fall, endlessly towards the ground, desperate to feel his hand once more. To hear his indignant voice cry out and release her own inner demon to quarrel with him, to tell him the depths of her feelings, to show him everything that he would never know now.

And instead of the darkness embracing her with cold, icy fingertips trickling along her skin, brightness engulfed her emotionally overwhelmed self. Instead of coarse, unforgiving earth, she was shrouded in silken warmth. She curled towards the firm comforting immersion and finally felt a sense of peace hold her close.

She opened her tear-worn eyes and glimpsed a shield of silver hair above her, a crescent moon shining in the daylight of her darkest day and slowly slid into sleep's cool nothingness, comforted, protected, with golden eyes watching over her restless repose.

It had been clear to him where her heart had been before and Sesshoumaru prided himself that jealousy, albeit an itch every once in a while, had never really taken hold. He had let himself remain as he always was: aloof, cool and indifferent. Kagome could see through it at times, but never did she know the true reason. He knew that in her mind Rin was always the reason for the kindnesses he would bestow. He never disavowed her of these beliefs, but she was only half right.

In the beginning of their strange friendship, he had sought her out because he knew she would never judge him nor mock his reasons. He could tell her without hesitation why he sought her and her friends because of this. It was easy because he had accepted Rin's importance in his life, just like he accepted Jaken's off-beat and often annoying loyalty.

It was one of those things that just was.

He hadn't ever accepted his attraction for her. Not really.

He had watched with bored eyes and a mind that screamed at Inuyasha for his foolish choice of following his former lover into the depths of hell. He had Kagome still and he threw her away. It was insufferable that Sesshoumaru's blood kin, however tainted it was, would choose to die with a woman who sought his death, instead of live and be with a mate that accepted who he was, even though she was human.

It had become quite clear to Sesshoumaru that even though he denied it to himself, that his emotions had a mind of their own. What had just been an attraction for an attractive female, human or otherwise, had turned into something akin to respect and affection. Kagome's kindness towards even one such as he had been just the beginning. Over the year that they had traveled together, she had helped him with his arm when it was still tender. He would never have accepted her help if she hadn't waited until everyone was asleep to address the issue. He would never have accepted it if she hadn't smelled so good and looked so, so. . . Kagome. He had unwillingly given her many secrets to keep and she kept them all. She was honest in her emotions and in everything she did. She hid nothing. With a small uplifting of his lips he doubted if she could hide anything she felt from anyone. But secrets, secrets she could hold onto until her breath left her.

And Sesshoumaru reluctantly found that he enjoyed having secrets with her that Inuyasha would never know. It was if those small things created an invisible bond between himself and Kagome, one that would eventually sever the one she held with the hanyou.

The stench of Naraku's carcass wrinkled his nose, bringing him out of his thoughts and he turned to escape it in time to see Kagome's eyes close, her body tremble as if a slight breeze might push her over. When her knees bent and she began to crumple to the ground, he deftly caught her in the stronger of his two arms. The acid anger at his half-brother's idiocy rose in his throat as he gently pulled the girl close. She had not passed out, but she was weak from her grief and her loss. The urge to keep her from harm, physical or otherwise, rose high in his breast, settling around his heart. He bent one knee and dropped the other to the ground, placing her on his thigh and bending over her listless form.

She had made it through the battle nearly unscathed. She had stood up to he himself how many countless times. She was the glue that had held the crazy group together even when arguments threatened to tear them apart. She was always the one who looked after everyone else. She was the one whose inner strength made any outer flaws insignificant. To Sesshoumaru, that she should fall was illogical. That she had, told him exactly how inured the hanyou had been within her heart. It also told him that even though she knew Inuyasha would go with the other miko when she chose her death, Kagome still held such great hope that it would end differently.

He felt her breath against his neck and he looked down at her face. She had the appearance of a woman who was lost in her pain and he felt helpless as his eyes traced the lines of salt that stained her pale cheeks. Her eyes opened to look at him and he held her gaze until she slipped into sleep, her body relaxing against his and turning towards him, her one hand grasping the front of his haori.

His heart thundered in his chest.


	6. Circus Act

Shard # 2 Juggling

Title: Circus Act

Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Kagome

Rating: PG13?R?

Squicks: Just a little bit of physical contact

Summary: Kagome has to deal with the fact that even after everything ended, she still has to juggle the truth around.

In her eyes, the universe owed her one big huge favor. And how did it repay her? With a life _still_ filled with subterfuge, trickery, and a big cosmic voice taunting her with 'A normal life? That was never yours to begin with! Ha ha ha HA ha ha.'

That mischievous laughter from the heavens just would not leave her alone.

She had been certain that when the Shikon no Tama was whole and Naraku defeated, her life of lying to her friends, lying to her school, and putting aside the life she left in the future, would all end completely. Instead, when she returned to the future, that tall, generally silent taiyoukai whose ward she had befriended and adored was waiting for her in the well house. It seemed that loyalty, as well as a good dose of over-protectiveness, was a genuine tried and true behavior passed to Inu no Taisho's sons.

After two months of Sesshoumaru's constant shadowing of her movements around modern Tokyo, she began to wish that the dog demon's father was still alive. Still alive so that she could wring his neck and cut off the family heirlooms in protest of the procreation that had resulted in offspring engendered with an anxiety on par with that of a mother hen. Even her friends had begun to be suspicious of the silver-haired man who seemed to appear everywhere she went with them. Especially when the group met with boys like poor Houjou, who often approached her, the taiyoukai became quite the interceptor of possible suitors. Which usually meant he stared down the human male bold enough to come close to a family pet.

She was sure that was what she was. A pet. Just like little Rin must have been. As much as it made Kagome's kind heart shudder in disgust at her own thinking, maybe making friends with the little girl hadn't been quite such a good idea. But the look in Sesshoumaru's eyes had convinced her that at least he had cared for the human child, so maybe it wasn't quite as bad as her imagination made it out to be.

This day had began well, but it had quickly turned into one where she wanted to jump into the well again and hope it spit her out in Inu no Taisho's lifetime so she could perform the castration idea she entertained. Sesshoumaru had decided to enter her room the exact same way Inuyasha often had: through the window. Only he, in his eternal male divine beauty, was a bit more graceful and less of a noise. In essence, she stood in her underwear, meeting his eyes in the mirror on the back of her door.

The fact that he was noiseless was a blessing. It meant that no one else had heard him. However, after the scream that issued forth from her throat in surprise at the intrusion, that blessing went to waste. She groaned as footsteps scrambled up the stairs. Why he had chosen to visit on a day her friends were over, she couldn't fathom.

Her blood temperature began rising. He refused to depart the way he came.

After reassuring her friends through the door that she was fine, it was then that the muscles started twitching at the corner of her eye. She wondered idly if she might need therapy as a result of all this.

"I told them there was nothing wrong, I thought I saw a mouse, blah blah blah. I can't just sashay down the stairs now with a taiyoukai in tow! So LEAVE!"

She might have had déjàvu, if it had been a hanyou dog demon in red fire-rat hakama, but instead she just had a strange sense of irony that where Inuyasha once stood, now stood a khaki-pant wearing, still a pain-in-the-ass, yuppie Sesshoumaru. The irony, unfortunately, did not stop there and he would probably like to maim, if not flat-out kill her, if he knew she added the "yuppie" adjective to her description of him.

"That is not my problem. It is yours for not imparting the actual turn of events. They are familiar with me."

"It does not matter that they know you, Sesshoumaru!" her voice a harsh whisper, "What matters is they do not, nor will they ever, EVER, know of what happened through that DAMN well. And they know you as Inuyasha's brother."

"Half-brother, and I am that."

She wanted to squeal again, this time in exasperation.

"No, no, they think I dated Inuyasha and urged me to break up with him - and now it will appear as if I'm dating YOU, which throws in a whole other can of worms!"

When he took a step toward her, it didn't quite dawn on her yet that she was still clothed in just her underwear. Frustration was currently occupying her consciousness as she struggled to find a way of solving the problem She wanted to avoid any further lectures on her choice of relations by her friends. One possible action was to think of a way to convince the thick-headed youkai (another thing that ran rampant in _that_ 'family') to leave the way he came. The other was to try and make her friends believe that this wasn't the way it seemed. She was completely oblivious at this point to the movement that brought him closer, step-by-step, as she went over possible scenarios in her head.

"No, no, that will just appear as if I'm loose and attracted to dangerous guys, which they already think is true, especially with what I accidentally told them about Kouga." She completely missed the intake of jealous breath as she muttered aloud her thoughts on one possible solution. "And there's the matter of YOU appearing EVERYWHERE I am," she motioned towards him, still unaware of how close he had gotten to her. "It gives them the _wrong_ idea and I don't care if it is the _right_ idea, they don't need to know the _REAL_ idea."

She sighed, completely missing the burning eyes that caught the motion of her lightly clad chest.

"And I thought I was done with this juggling of the truth! Why did you have to be at the well? Why do you follow me around?" She pouted, "What am I going to do?"

She focused her attention now upon the youkai across the room, only to find his gaze a bit closer than she remembered. And of course it was now that she recalled the other ironic thing about this new setup. If there was one thing that made up for a lot, okay, most of the trouble she had to go through with a youkai following her, it was the absolutely gorgeous male form he just happened to inhabit. Even when he was single armed he was stunning, but with the other arm returned to its former usefulness, he filled out everything so very nicely. Traditional clothing or modern day business suit, Sesshoumaru was a man who stood tall and elegant in anything he wore. He looked great in just about anything at all. Or maybe nothing at all, the tiny voice at the back of her brain whispered.

Her body warmth skyrocketed as her eyes widened at that image a fraction before her back bumped up against the wall beside the closed door of her bedroom. The coldness of the wall with her flushed skin pressed against it awakened that part of her that remembered her lack of dress.

He continued to move closer to her, the look in his gaze hungry and dangerous.

"Um, what are you doing?" She watched as the his nose flared near her skin, a tendril of his silver hair falling off his shoulder to brush against the breast above her brassiere. The gasp it caused pulled the taiyoukai closer by invisible strings of desire.

The proximity of that much attractive maleness caused her head to become all fuzzy, and in the quiet of her mind a single voice kept whispering "Yes" over and over. When his lips pressed to the sensitive skin on the top of her shoulder, control of her body escaped her tenuous grasp and her hands lifted themselves to the chest of the man who was touching her. As he moved his way up the line of her shoulder to the base of her neck, a tiny shudder shook her, starting in her throat down to the cleft of her legs and back up, forcing her to breathe in his scent. She was now tingling, her whole world pared down to this single moment, every second an eternity, a lifetime. She closed her eyes.

His breath tickled the curve of her ear as he brushed his striped cheek along hers, his hand reaching up and tangled itself in the hair at the back of her neck. Her palms itched and she began moving them in the direction they desired. Up and over the curve of his pectorals hidden under the cool fabric of his button-up linen shirt, engraving in her hands the memory of his muscled shoulders to the base of his neck.

When he met her parted lips with his, her hands curved into claws, tightening onto his solid strength, her body rising towards his as his other arm slid along the bare waist to pull her flush with his body. Then his tongue invaded to crash into hers and the embers glowing in her lower body burst into burning waves of lust. The lone part of her brain still working tried to silence the sound that thrummed up her throat, but the body won its voice and she moaned into Sesshoumaru's mouth.

The knock on the door hit her like a bucket full of cold water. "Kagome?"

She was panting now, eyes wide open again, body fighting the effects of the rude interruption. Sesshoumaru, who had released her in surprise, still stood close to her, the heat of his body affecting her brain function.

"Umm."

"Yes."

"I'm going to put some clothes on," she whispered.

"All right."

The world widened suddenly to include the situation and how she was still going to have to deal with it.

"Kagome?"

Her attention turned to the person on the other side of the door while her eyes met his.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be down in a minute."

A sigh, and then Eri spoke again, "Is someone in there with you?"

"I said I'll be down in a moment!" She was a little shocked to hear the slightly annoyed tone to her own voice.

His eyebrow raising wasn't helping at all.

"Uh, okay. But there'll be some explaining to do." Footsteps receded down the steps.

"Back into the circus ring, Kagome." His eyes glittered with amusement.

In response to his jibe, her blood pressure began to shoot up to deadly levels as he leaned in, stole another quick kiss before reaching for the door knob to go downstairs.

Aggravated, and suddenly without care for the thoughts of those waiting below, she lost control of those truths she had tried to keep up in the air. "SESSHOUMARU!"

She was certain he had a smirk painted arrogantly across his face. At least with Inuyasha she could yell something more effective. Damn.


	7. Shard29Anniversary: Unexpected Reunion

**Title**: Unexpected Reunion  
**Character/Pairing**: Sesshoumaru/Kagome  
**Rating**: PG  
**Squicks**: None  
**Summary**: Searching for a place to remember, Kagome meets someone unexpected.

* * *

Gazing out over the rows of stone tablets, guardians of the souls sleeping within the embrace of the earth, she stood wondering if perhaps those she knew might be resting here. A small grin stretched the lips thin. No, who knows where they might have ended up sleeping. Five hundred years was a long time. But still, she was impelled to keep searching.

She had gone through many places just like this, looking for a familiar name, or reference. There hadn't been any she had found yet. Those names were not known to history, or if they were, she knew not where to find them. So she wandered. Spent the day they had won, as she knew it, seeking the final resting places of those friends time had stolen from her.

Brushing the hair out of her eyes, the breeze having its merry way with the dark strands, she looked about her. The trees here were ancient, almost as old as Goshinboku, their canopies shading the final peace of many who lay here. An older headstone caught her eye, its rough hewing belying the ravages that time and the elements had reaped upon it. She picked her way carefully around the other stones, making her way slowly, anticipating disappointment but hoping for whatever reunion it might give her. Her heart pounded fiercely in her chest, a tear of joy threatening as she looked at the tablet.

In simple hiragana, "Rin" was inscribed upon it.

Again that small smile crossed her lips. A small toy top lay to one corner with a small bouquet of brilliantly white carnations resting lengthwise in front of the stone. The smile grew, encompassing the whole of her face and reaching her eyes.

_So. He's still around, huh_. Her eyes lifted to search the area, knowing she wasn't going to find what her heart had hoped to see. Besides, a reunion with the little kitsune probably would not turn out the way she always envisioned in her head. The boisterous red haired child crying out her name and clinging to her as if she had never left was something that was of the past.

She raised a hand to her cheek, not surprised to find it come away wet. It may have only been three years ago for her, but for the rest of the world it had been half of a millennia. The sound of the leaves rustling brought her attention back to the present, reminding her why she was here. A sigh escaped her and she kneeled down, laying her own small gift next to the flowers already in place.

"I don't know where the rest of my friends are, but it's good to see that you are here." A small chuckle rose from her chest. "I'm sure you were just as endearing in your old age as you were when you were little."

She clapped her hands together thrice and spoke aloud the names of those she could remember with affection. She then reached out a hand and brushed off the top of the tablet, the sides and the front, tracing the name inscribed there. She silently laid a protective barrier over the small gravestone, allowing things to be placed there, but not removed. It was assurance that the gift she left would not be disturbed. Not that any now would know what it was.

"I'm sure Sesshoumaru is relieved to at least have a place to stop by when the impulse is upon him. I don't know how you did it, and I don't care really, but you were good for him."

She pushed herself up off the ground, clearing the small amount of dirt from her knees, gaze catching sight of the toy again, "Well, it seems like you befriended Shippo as well. Thank you for that." A sob caught halfway in her throat. "I would have liked to have stayed, but as I'm sure you all knew, I was there only on a whim of fate."

More tears fell, dropping to the quiet earth, the trees silent as if allowing her another moment with those that her destiny had torn away. She pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped off her face, then raised her visage to the sky above breathing deeply of the autumn air. She exhaled again, sniffed and lowered her gaze back down to the place where a once vibrant young girl now rested.

She turned to go, pulling the sides of her coat closer to her body, only to have her attention caught by a white figure standing still a row away from her. Drawn from her bitter joy, she recognized the very slight hum of his power. He, like many others, had concealed it well. The breeze had picked up once again, playing with the length of his white trench coat, and lifting the hair he still kept long, tossing the neat tresses about. Her breath caught, choked around a lump of nostalgia so strong that it threatened to bring tears again.

His solemn expression hadn't changed much, she decided. But, there was a gentleness there that she wasn't sure of. Either time had further tamed the taiyoukai, or that look was for her reverence of the human child he had once had. He would reject the term "tamed", she thought, inwardly amused; it was most assuredly the latter.

He inclined his silvery-white head to her and she answered likewise.

"It's been a while." The voice hadn't changed much, the undertones of arrogance still colored his words.

"Yes, it has." She found that her normally chatty self just could not jump start itself to speak with the onetime enemy and ally. "Um, when did...?"

His footsteps barely made a sound on the stone path, the surety of his stride carried him to stand next to her. The calm stretched so long that just as she pulled in her breath to say good-bye and leave him to his memories, he finally answered, his voice filled with softness.

"She died an old woman. Mother to three half-kitsune, grandmother to many more."

She gasped in revelation. "Shippo...?"

Those eyes that had at one time glared at her in disgust now slid over to meet her questioning look, indulgent. He nodded once, returning his gaze to the grave in front of them.

"Oh, I see." Happiness burbled within her, and a sorrow laced that brightness with gray. How she wished she could have seen it. "I'm glad." A giggle escaped her, memories of the red child in argument with Inuyasha flashed through her mind. "I'm sure he was the only one to keep up with her liveliness."

A brief nod and grunt showed he concurred with her assessment.

They stood in companionable silence and Kagome spent that time trying to build up the courage to ask him if he knew anything at all about the others. She finally resigned herself to not asking, as why would he know? He didn't involve himself much with the rest of her group, infrequently leaving Rin with them even after he was lured away from Edo and the little girl was injured. It spoke of a trust that had risen between himself and those who had once been enemies by proxy. He had been kind enough to speak of Rin and of Shippo, she didn't want to bother him much more than that.

"What is it that you wish to ask?"

Shocked she swiveled her head to stare at the demon standing beside her who had spoken. It was not so much that he knew there was more she wanted to ask, but the tonal quality of his voice ripped at the soft belly of her emotions. It was reminiscent of Inuyasha's voice when they had been alone for the last time. Tender and rough, it awakened within her something she had thought died when she was shoved back into her own future. The butterflies in her stomach fluttered anew and she closed her eyes as she spoke, "Wh-what happened to Inuyasha? And do you know where Sango and Miroku are?"

The taiyoukai shifted his weight, the stone shuffling underneath, his gaze directed out above the headstone they stood in front of. His face was devoid of any malice or ill-intent and she found that it was a bit like coming home to watch him as he considered her words. He reminded her of the time she spent in the countryside of her past and how grateful she was to have had those memories at all.

"He was, last I heard, in Hokkaido. He became much more of a wanderer after everything was finished. It has been over a hundred years since I last spoke with him." Sesshoumaru's amber yellow demon eyes met hers, "Of your other friends, I know they lived near the remains of the demon hunter's village and slowly built up a community there. They did have many children. I regret that I do not know when it was that they passed on."

Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. Why was she so full of sadness that they had continued on when she left? It was only what they should have done, what she would have wanted them to do. But still, it hurt just a little to know that their lives had gone on while she had been left with only their memory. Her heart felt broken anew.

Using the heels of both her hands, she wiped her cheeks clear again and inhaled a shuddering breath. It was only right that it turned out this way. Perhaps...perhaps she would have been happier not knowing that they had moved on. She shook her head and closed her eyes. No. It made her happy to know, despite the sorrow, that they had not wasted the second chance given to them all.

She opened her eyes once more and smiled at the taiyoukai, "Thank you for telling me."

"You're welcome."

They stood together for a while longer, their breathing in time with the other. After the memory was made, she turned to him again.

"Do you come here every year?"

A small smile crept up the stoic lines of Sesshoumaru's mouth, "Yes."

"Then," she paused, swept her gaze back down to the place where the toy top, the white carnations and the dulled sphere of their combined victory rested, "I shall see you next year."

He nodded, that gentleness once again softening the arrogance of his voice, "I believe that I would like that."


End file.
